


Escape Acts

by Who Shot AR (akerwis)



Category: Much Ado About Nothing - Shakespeare
Genre: 1980s, Established Relationship, F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 03:17:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akerwis/pseuds/Who%20Shot%20AR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedick would rather not play host to Beatrice's relations.  But it could be worse.  Set post-play in the 2011 David Tennant/Catherine Tate <i>Much Ado About Nothing</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Escape Acts

Fifteen minutes into the little garden party Benedick had protested with both wit and will, Beatrice heard a great thumping noise coming from the direction of the driveway.  She got up in the middle of a recounting of Hero's eldest daughter's first day of school to investigate.  
  
It was coming from the back of Benedick's Grand Am.  When it ceased for a moment, Beatrice knocked on the trunk of the car.  
  
A thump came from somewhere beneath where she'd knocked.  Two knocks were answered by two thumps, and _shave and a short cut_ received a pounded _two bits_ in response.  
  
Fumbling for her keyring, she opened up the trunk, only to be met by a gasping, gangly man who had been  _told_ he was to come and eat cucumber sandwiches with her in the back yard. If she had to suffer Great-Aunt Hortensia's feelings on her 'barren, piteous womb,' everyone had to suffer it.  
  
"Benedick!" she cried, making no effort to smother her laugh.  How easy it was to forget the biting edge of her irritation when he stared with those wide, rolling eyes.  She was left with amusement at his expense.  "Were you investigating what it feels like to be a suitcase?"  
  
"I had thought to escape death by a thousand queries about the workings of my manhood."  He sniffed, drawing himself up as though he had any dignity to hold onto.  "But I think I prefer it to suffocation."


End file.
